Wednesday, December 20, 2006

transit visa

until the twerps who work for ministry of telecommunication or information technology or whoever is inc charge of our internet policy (frankly i wouldn't be surprised if it were the ministry of agriculture), comes to its senses and unblocks blogspot or at least till the pkblogs or inblogs somehow revert to their trusty old selves, the poor saps who occasionally drop by can catch me at http://abbasnama.wordpress.com

yes i've moved. but it might just be temporary. who knows? or cares, for that matter.

so in case some of that didn't get through, you might want to catch me at http://abbasnama.wordpress.com .

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Friday, December 15, 2006

urdu ka janaza hai, zara shaan se nikley

to continue the rant against what seems to be the premature demise of my beloved mother tongue, albeit at a tangent, i present to you the classic case of the end of verbosity in urdu shairee. the class and style has given way to simple efficiency. much like sacrificing the pure talent and artistry of brian lara for the workmanship and efficiency of a ricky ponting. take for example the following couplet from everybody's favourite classic, mirza ghalib:

jab tak ke na dekha tha qad-e-yaar ka aalam
mein motaqid-e-fitna-e-mehshar na hua tha

now that has to be the classiest way possible to compare your beloved to doomsday, which is a very romantic thing to do in desiland, though i can understand it if my north american and european readers are totally bewildered here. however, you get the same meaning if not the same taste in the mouth with the following couplet, one i read off the back of a water tanker in s.i.t.e. area:

un ko dekh kar hamein yeh yaqeen agaya
qayamat kul paanch foot do inch ki hogi

i can see my poor urdu teacher pulling out his hair in agony. this however is a far classier effort than the standard tanker/bus/rickshaw poetry you manage to read while stuck in the smokey, smoggy karachi traffic jams which have become all too common. case in point:

bulbulon, ghul na karo, yaar hamara sotee hai
tum to urr jata hai, wo ham per khafa hotee hai

i once watched a tv show on which amjad islam amjad claimed that the future iqbals and hasrats would probably come through the ranks of these rickshaw-backside poets. excuse me while i find some rope to hang myself with.

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Friday, December 08, 2006

let burger = wannabe gora

there is the person who comes out and says yaar, itna halka paper to kabhi aya hi nahin. and boy do i hate that kind of person. then there is the kind that comes out with the export quality expletives, froth on his lips, chest heaving as he deals with his anger - well thats not exactly dealing with it, per se but you get the point. there is also the infuriating consumptive type who sits next to you through the 12 hours sounding like there's a truck starting somewhere deep in his chest. and its not easy to tolerate the geriatric invigilator who wears almost fluorescent suits and lets his bloody jingle bells ringtone ring in the exam hall.

i don't like them.

ok the guy who said mein icap ki @#$%$##%%$@!!!..... was mildly amusing.

but the most irritating thing you get to hear after the exams is someone saying dude, tera paper kaisa hua? i mean dude, whats with the dude? what happened to our old desi slang like yaar, dost, jigar and even boss? and this from people who seem more naturally attuned to star plus than starbucks if you follow my drift.

if you assume that your classic, for want of a better word, "burger" type is a gora wannabe, then a wannabe is a wannabe wannabe and these guys who wannabe wannabe don't wannabe burger are actually wannabe wannabe wannabe or wannabe cube to make it simpler. and the thing is spreading. i remember when passing by sir syed college for women at noontime in a bus would mean you'd hear some really interesting comments from the kids in the back. but the same thing gets modified every year.

2000: maamay, piece dekh!

2002: the relatively classier jigar, bachian dekh!

2004: oye yaar copy-aan check kar! confirm position!

2006: buddy, chicks check out ker!

i remember when even i, the self proclaimed linguist, would respond to something like that with oye hoye english! or something to that effect. but everything gets english-er and english-er everyday and sometimes i miss being guaranteed a taste of old style corny punjabi songs in a kali peeli taxi. but the guy today was playing juggy d. which is not that bad but thats not the right flavour. its like going to burns road to eat chinese. like the wierd taste left in the mouth by the movie guy who put bryan adams on the soundtrack of my cousin's wedding. i was the only one who noticed it wasn't normal.

maybe i'm just growing old.

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  • I'm Xill-e-Ilahi
  • From Karachi, Pakistan
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